Mala Strana
by Guffaw
Summary: Medic encounters a very interesting surprise.     SongFic,SLASH  Haters gonna Hate
1. Chapter 1

(_Any TF2 characters belong to VALVE, Song belongs to it's rightful owners, yadda yadda yadda)_

Medic could hear music playing softly in the usually silent building (at least at night). Being disturbed from his sleep, Medic grabbed his digital clock "...Ach, It's two in the morning." Medic said groggily as he stared at the blinking numbers. With all that went on in the BLU building, you think someone could get some goddamn sleep once in a while.

Apparently not.

Medic flung his feet out of his bed, looking ready for action. In reality he was _shit_ tired, But drowsiness would have to wait! If he didn't find out where that music was coming from, Medic would never fall back asleep. It was in his blood to be high-strung, even if that meant having to kick an ass or two, and that is what Medic just planned to do.

With said intent in his head, Medic strut out of his bedroom, into the hallway, and towards wherever that goddamn music was coming from. He passed his other teammates bedrooms. The sounds of Heavy's snoring, Soldier's mumbling in his sleep, and the creak of Scout's bed as the yong boy tossed and turned in his sleep rang through the empty halls. These were the sounds of the night to Medic. This was normal. Medic had grown accustomed to these sounds over the years he had worked at BLU, to him, they were just a normality. Though, of course, nothing was normal at BLU.

As Medic walked into the kitchen, the sound had became louder, thus giving away it's location. Medic whipped his head in the direction of the shower room. The music seemed to be coming from there. As he walked towards it, he heard another sound. It was the sound of gushing water "Someone taking a shower? At zis time of night?" Medic whispered to himself, puzzled beyond belief.

Medic tiptoed his way into the shower room, as to not make a sound. But what he saw next almost made him gasp.

It was Pyro. In the nude._ Showering_.

By the way, apparently it's a male.

To the Medic, the Pyro was not what he expected. He had expected some kind of genderless, face-melted monster. Medic had been imagining some kind of ungodly abomination. But instead he got this:

The Pyro looked close to his thirties, with short cobalt hair that shined with the added water. His skin was a (though calloused) pale brown, like coffee mixed with cream. He had dark dirt brown eyes and a large angular nose, and large puckered lips. His chest had softly defined muscles, gently laced with scars that had came with the war. One of the most noticeable things was the extremely large burn scar that started on the front of his thigh, traced across his back, and ended on the crook of his neck. With rest of his body the same as his chest, defined and traced with scars, The Medic was now finished with his examination of the Pyro.

Medic wondered why he even cared so much.

Nobody had seen the Pyro. Ever. The rest of the team had some very colorful guesses, but when they asked the Pyro, he had just got a muffled answer, and a few confusing hand gestures. But now, the Medic knew! He could use this information to his advantage, and earn the respect he deserved...

...Or he could just watch.

Taken out of his thought, Medic noticed that the Pyro was singing.

Things where about to get interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

Medic watched closely as Pyro began singing,

"_Mala Strana's nice this time of year _

_let's have another cigarette _

_and another pilsner beer _

_in the morning broken sun _

_I meet a gypsy and we run right into each other's arms _

_Come to the city pretty please _

_where the people are awful nice _

_and the coffee's awful cheap _

_well I don't care _

_if I never get back home"_

_"In the river we could drown _

_oh diving for a crown or _

_a soggy pack of smokes _

_Sweet silly boy _

_you're such a tease _

_well you're finally overseas _

_and you're rising from your knees _

_Come to the city pretty please _

_where the buildings are awful nice _

_and the sex is awful cheap well _

_I don't care if I never get back home "_

_"Tell the rich man he can't be home _

_but the flowers and the champagne were lovely little thoughts_

_Come to the city pretty please _

_where the people are awful nice _

_and the love is awful cheap _

_Well I don't care if I never get back home _

_after all what's home _

_but a place to call your own" _

Wow.

Medic was dumbfounded. Though Pyro wasn't exactly the greatest singer in the world, the dark-skinned man's mask of mystery was slowly, but surely, shattering inside Medic's strange little mind. You had to admit, shit was getting down. Medic was frozen in place. He had no idea what to do now. Wait? Leave? Stand around like a dumbshit? A few minutes before, he had been intent on doing horrible, horrible things that involved sharp things to the one person who had woken the Medic up from his slumber, but now...He didn't know.

Medic was so wrapped up in his thought that he didn't notice the sound of the shower water being shut off while Pyro grabbed a towel.

Pyro turned around ,as some strange cowincense, straight at the Medic.

"_HOLYFUCKINGSHITSTORM_!" Yelped the Pyro in a very Mexican accent.

"_AHHHHHHHHHH_!" Medic had now started yelling.

"_AHHHHHHHHHH_!" Pyro followed in the same fashion.

"SHUT THE FUCK BEFORE I MAKE YA, FUCKIN' FAGS! I'M TRYING TO GET SOME FUCKING SLEEP ROUND HERE AND I DON'T NEED SOME DUMBASSES SCREAMING BOUT' SHIT AT THE SAME GODDAMN TIME!" Said the clear as day voice of the Scout.

Medic and Pyro clamped their mouths shut almost instantly. Pyro tried to gather up some of his dignity by grabbing the previously dropped towel and modestly covering his nether regions.

There was a long and heavy silence while the two mercenaries twiddled their thumbs, waiting for the other to speak.

It now dawned on Medic he had gone up total fuck-up creek without the paddle known as get-away plan.

"So..." began the Pyro, awkwardly trying to conjure something the say to the frazzled Medic, with little to no success until finely the words "Is dis the part where I make Coff-ee?"

Medic and Pyro leaned against the kitchen counter, mugs in hand, now soothed with the power of warm liquids being drunk. Pyro had the towel around his waist, not really caring at the moment of getting his uniform back on. Besides, what is the point now that Medic has seen him, no shame now.

"How long had joo seen me?" asked the Pyro, the first words he had said in over an hour now, Medic told a little lie: "Not zhat long. No more then...fifteen seconds, at most."

Pyro peered at Medic, brown eyes staring, scanning for a lie at all.

It was starting to make Medic increasingly uneasy. He started shifting his feet nervously.

"Joo aren't lying, are joo, hombre?"

"Nein. I am not lying"

Once more, silence.

Suddenly, to the relief of Medic, Pyro pulled a huge grin, saying "bien, todo lo que dicen que el hombre!".

Medic didn't know what that meant, but he was pretty sure it was a good thing. It was easier to talk now, now with Pyro speaking, letting Medic muster the balls to speak first.

"Why do you cover yourself up?" Medic asked, slightly scared on how the fire starter would answer.

Pyro sighed, and thus began his story:

"When duh company hired me, dey talked so much about things I didn't really care about, like how when joo want a new weapon joo have to go ask some person about yadda yadda yadda,I didn't really care dat mooch."

Medic nodded in agreement. These talks that the BLU company decked out were long and quite frankly, boring.

"Then dey talked about the fire-suit. Dey said I had to wear it all times, 'cause apparently, not knowing what your enemy looks like scares duh shit outta people. I didn't ask questions. Dat was my mistake. Because now I didn't know if I was allowed to take it off when I was in my own base. I never really liked the hag, so I just wore it all the time to stay outta trouble."

Medic took this as a acceptable answer and started talking again, changing the subject. Soon he and Pyro were chatting each other up like they were best buds. Medic learned that Pyro was from Cancun, Mexico, He lives there with his younger sister. He learned English from a study book that he kept at his side almost all the time, even on the battlefield. Before working at BLU, Pyro worked as a welder, but got fired when he set one of his co-workers on fire...it was a accident. I swear.

The two men were so distracted they didn't hear the sounds of feet emerging from the halls.

"Ugh, what time is it? Like, five? Damn cockfags you guys talk real-_HOLYSHITWHOTHEFUCKAREYOU_?" screamed the Scout.

Oh shit.


	3. Chapter 3

After the commotion of Scout yelling in every direction, which drived Pyro into putting the young man into a headlock, Which caused Medic into trying to pull both of them apart while still trying to calm the Scout, it all turned onto one large chain-reaction of the rest of the team waking up to find an half-naked Spanish guy wrestling with the Scout while the Medic was flat on his ass swearing in German and garbled English.

After much yelling, a kick to the crotch, and a very deliberate bitch-slap from Medic, everyone calmed down. Now was the very awkward moment when someone would have to explain to the whole team who the guy trying to re-tie the loose towel without anybody seeing his nether-regions was. Medic took a glance at Pyro. The Pyro just rolled his eyes. Medic signed and looked directly at the rest of BLU, who were all waiting patiently for a answer. They all looked like chirldren waiting for a story. Except for that the fact that they were all tired, grown-ass men. Medic soon began talking.

He explained to everyone that this was in fact, the Pyro. Everyone was mildly surprised, with the exception of the Scout. He was ad because he expected " A leggy hot red-head with a pair of tits larger then your 'fuckin head" as he put it anyways.

Pyro didn't talk at all the whole time. Since everybody was too tired to ask questions, eveyone had gone back to bed, with the exception of the Medic and Pyro. There was a silence in the room once more. But Medic was compterble enough to break it " Why didn't you talk? You could have spoken up whenever you wanted to." Medic said with curiosity "We would like to keep some mystery, jes?" explained Pyro. As Medic was about to reply, Pyro said "Usted es un hombre hermoso. Déjame en paz." and walked away.

Well, fuck.

Medic muttered under his breath as he walked back to his own room. He laid down in his bed, sliding under the covers for unneeded warmth. He pushed his rising headache to the back of his mind, and focused on falling asleep.


End file.
